This post is different today. It’s not about EDS. It’s deep in my feelings, ones that people don’t talk about often.
Do you ever feel forgettable? You’re a great person, accepting, loving, a decent friend. However, you aren’t quite enough for people to remember you. You watch all the friends you thought you have, get together with all of their other friends. Plan weekends together, vacations etc. While you were never invited. At some point or another I have made what I thought many friends. This couple would be the one, finally! Then you’re never invited again, you try to invite them..but they always say “oh let us look at the schedule..” then never get back to you. This is an endless attempt, until you get the hint.
Listen I KNOW life is busy, and friendships are harder when your’re older. Social Media can really mess with you. You see all of these people going out, having friends over. You just never quite make the cut to be in “the group”. My husband and I have so many “groups” of friends over the years, but we are always the “forgotten ones” we stop getting invited to the game nights, the dinner parties, the play dates, the birthday parties.
To be honest, it’s exhausting. I’m thankful everyday my husband is my best friend, but sometimes, it would be so amazing to be able to get together and have another couple in our lives.
For example, my husband, is incredible. He works so hard at everything he does, he would help anyone. Be there to help them move, to help them do a project at their house, anything. Yet, there isn’t people that would do the same for him. He is the most loyal, thoughtful, hardest working man at everything he does. His job, his family, crossfit everything. Yet, he doesn’t get recognized for any of it, except from me. Which he says is enough. He’s amazing like that though.
Our life is hard. We have so much happening all the time, and maybe that’s why. But, to be buried in worry for your son, doctors and therapy appointments for him often, and two other amazing kids to love on too. However to add loneliness and no help, some times it hurts to breath when you feel like your drowning in life and loneliness.
You read the posts about finding your village, having family or friends that come over and help, bring your head above water.. and you wonder what that would be like. How different our life would be, if we had that. If it would be easier to get through your week of endless doctors appointments, because you had this “village”.
Is the grass really greener on the other side..?
until next time…